Welcome to Sunset Valley
by Elite Shade
Summary: A strange desert town where the odd and terrifying is an everyday occurrence.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello there dear readers! I'm happy to bring you a brand new story!** _ **Welcome to Sunset Valley**_ **is a Zootopia-themed tribute to the wonderfully dark and strange podcast,** _ **Welcome to Night Vale**_ **!**

Welcome to Sunset Valley (Part 1)

By

Elite Shade

A cordial wasteland community where the sun is searing, the moon is stunning, and unknown beams of luminescence flicker by in the night sky as we all feign slumber. Welcome...to Sunset Valley…

 _Intro Music Plays_

Welcome back, precious listeners. As always, I am the one known only as Honey Badger, here to bring you the news you care so much about of our pleasant little town of Sunset Valley.

Well, precious listeners, some exciting news. It would seem that construction began last night of the new Sunset Valley strip mall. It also seems that construction finished last night as well, shortly after it began. I have a small note here with me from the local Sheriff's office, which insists that the mall was actually being constructed over the course of several months, and everyone simply just didn't notice it. I certainly would have thought that I would notice a forty-six story building that takes up about a hundred acres right next to the town square, but I guess that I'm just not that observant.

Anyhow, the mall's grand opening will be at noon today! The first five hundred mammals who show up will receive coupons for 98% off any four hundred items! Wow, now that's a suspiciously great deal! However, only the first five hundred mammals that arrive shall be allowed to pass through the mall's thick iron double doors and blast shields. After that, the doors will be sealed shut, and not open again for the next twenty-four hours.

A whispering voice in my ear, certainly not being spoken by a Cape Buffalo dressed in military fatigues with four stars, who absolutely did not enter via a hidden door right here in the station, is informing me that the closing and sealing of the doors is to enhance the shopping experience of the lucky five hundred mammals to participate. I am also being informed that this is not an elaborate social experiment where the five hundred mammals are going to have explosive tracking devices implanted at the base of their skulls and then forced to systematically kill a certain number of each other, in exchange for their lives and their release. Well, I don't know about you, precious listeners, but I sure do love a good sale.

In other news...uh...huh? I'm sorry listeners...but it looks like the next announcement I have for you here has been almost completely redacted. The only parts of it that are not blotted out by inky black marker lines are the words _Clockwork_ and _Corpses_. This does not appear to be intentional, based on the black line covering up the rest of the paragraph seeming to fade out just before _Clockwork_. Which leads me to conclude that this entire document was not intended to go on the air, and that the marker used to redact it simply ran out of ink. I'm just going to go ahead and retract my earlier statement about the words _Clockwork_ and _Corpses_. Apparently the powers that be which secretly control and monitor all of us here do not wish for you to know anything about what's on this piece of paper. So let us all go ahead and respect their wishes, and stop thinking about clockwork corpses altogether. It's the polite thing to do, after all.

Now on to sports! Things are shaping up to be an exciting season for _Sunset Valley High School's_ football team, _The Sunset Valley Ghouls_. Star quarterback, Luke Dooney, has recovered completely from the injury he sustained during last month's practice. As you most likely already know, Luke received a bite mark above his left hoof after an altercation with an elderly and sick-looking homeless moose, who shambled their way onto the field and accosted Luke. The brave young buck fended off his attacker and managed to pin them on the ground as they waited for the proper authorities to collect the vagrant moose. The moose in question simply moaned as they writhed and squirmed and attempted to bite down on anyone within reach. Thankfully, the professional mammals in the simple black suits and ties were able to expertly guide the moose into the back of a black van, with no license plates, and drive off.

Unfortunately, after several hours of being bitten, Luke complained of a headache and a slight dizzy sensation, shortly before he collapsed. Within minutes of the paramedics arriving and strapping him down onto the gurney, Luke was reported as moaning in a similar fashion as his earlier attacker, and attempting to bite down on anyone nearby while reaching for them, until his arms and legs had been completely secured. This was believed to be the result of a fever dream, caused by a sudden and serious infection.

However, Luke is not only apparently on the mend, but doctor-certified as being more than capable of playing! Granted, his mouth had to be wired shut, because of some oddly vague reason involving his infection, but that should not impede his ability to play whatsoever. Also...Luke seems to have lost a bit of his coordination...but surely this is only temporary. A truly inspiring underdog story if ever I've heard one, precious listeners!

And now on to the weekly horoscopes! Let's see...where did I put that list? Oh! Here it is! Right where I left it underneath my standard-issue Necronomicon. Okay...first on the list...ah yes.

Aries! Your horoscope says...be sure to have an umbrella at the ready before you leave for work today...or a poncho...and of course a pair of goggles! Also remember, in order to get out those pesky blood and gristle stains, you'll need to first soak the stained clothes in cold water and then use club soda or vinegar when scrubbing by paw!

Taurus! Well, you have a very lucky week to look forward to. You have been selected by the local masked mammals that no one is allowed to acknowledge to attend a _special_ , and mandatory, pizza party at an undisclosed location! You won't need to know the address of the location, as the masked mammals will take you to the pizza party in a windowless van that they shall come to collect you in, after surprising and blindfolding you of course.

Gemini! According to this sheet here...any and all suspicions that you may or may not have about the black, windowless ice cream trucks that make hourly sweeps up and down your street are completely unfounded. The ice cream trucks are there for your safety, but unfortunately do not carry any ice cream. And the slow, rhythmic chanting being broadcast from their speakers is not for you to listen to. Listening to the chanting for any prolonged period of time may cause mild headaches, severe migraines, bleeding to occur from any and all orifices, and mild hallucinations of shadowy figures turning into exact duplicates of some of your neighbors and/or loved ones, attempting to kill them in order to assume their identities.

Cancer! You think that you weren't seen last night...but you were. You think that you weren't heard last night...but you were. You think that you're safe behind your locked doors and windows, hiding in your panic room...but you're not.

Leo! In the coming days, you may suddenly have hallucinations of an exact duplicate of yourself appearing as though out of thin air. This purely imagined and unreal duplicate will more than likely attempt to kill you and assume your identity. Simply ignore it and it will soon go away. It is not real, there are no real doppelgangers, and there certainly are no doppelgangers from an alternate Earth that was destroyed, who are simply trying to find a new home here in Sunset Valley. Everything is perfectly fine. Just go about your daily routines as though there were nothing out of the ordinary. Because there isn't.

Virgo! Avoid any and all jars of marmalade at all costs. Your life and your sanity depend on this.

Libra! Let's see...oh...oh my...I don't think that I shall be reading this one aloud. It is best that you do not know, and dwell upon it in the short amount of time that you have left...you shall find out for yourself soon enough as it is…

Scorpio! Aside from some random disappearing and reappearing in the local library, nothing out of the ordinary.

Sagittarius! If your phone rings at any time...even after it's been unplugged...perhaps don't answer it.

Capricorn! Look in your fridge, underneath that carton of eggs that just expired and you'll find a red envelope with your name written on it in intricate calligraphy. You must not open it until midnight on the night of the full moon. Resist the urge, I implore you, to open it before that moment, or else you will face horrifying consequences.

Aquarius! Today is an excellent day to show some initiative at work. And of course, as always, be sure not to look your boss directly in the eye, as that will be construed as a challenge and will lead to a gladiatorial fight to the death in the conference room, as you have no doubt read in your employee handbook.

Last and certainly least, just kidding, Pisces! Be sure to keep your head up and a spring in your step as you may experience more than just a few minor annoyances, like people rudely jumping out of the back of the unmarked white van waiting at the stop light in front of you, with their paws or hooves bound and blindfolded, frantically trying to remove both and run away as several masked mammals try to recapture them; all while you continue to sit there and wait, possibly making you late for work. Just bear in mind that patience is a virtue and that you shall be rewarded in due time. We shall all receive our just rewards...in due time…

Some more exciting news, precious listeners. According to some anonymous call-ins, we here at the station have just learned that, due to the utter lack of any mammals showing up at the new mall to attempt to receive the special limited time discount, a series of heavily armored, nondescript black windowless vans are now going door to door in residential areas, _collecting_ mammals to shuttle to the mall. Now that sure sounds like a fun surprise. There are more than a few mammals who seem to be less than enthused about the idea of a surprise trip to the new mall, but the military fatigue-clad mammals are more than willing to take them along anyway. So generous!

Now, it's time to hear from one of our sponsors!

 _When you sleep, you dream. More often than not, when you awaken, your mind quickly works to forget the dream. This is because of secret, arcane, and horrible truths that your subconscious mind has uncovered during your nighttime astral travels across the many different dimensions. Sometimes it's simply a result of your waking mind not being able to comprehend the complex thoughts and images that your subconscious mind can. In this case, what happens is that your conscious mind simply recalls only minute details that make the most sense out of what would otherwise seem even more nonsensical that you could ever imagine._

 _Should this knowledge concern you? Yes, yes it should. An aspect of your psyche traveled to places unknown by the physical for a reason. It is trying to warn the rest of you. They are coming. From the deepest corners of your genetic memory, you feel a twinge of primal fear, as you should. They are coming, and they are going to be cruel. If only you could remember and understand what your subconscious mind is desperately trying to tell you, perhaps you could do something. But you can't._

 _Instead, snap yourself of a piece of a Snick-Snack bar!_

Oh? Precious listeners, I've just been handed an official-looking document directly from the mayor's office. It's in the form of a rolled-up scroll of what I believe to be parchment, and it even has mayor Leodore's official family crest in the wax seal. My claws are literally trembling in anticipation as I'm about to break the seal, after I take a moment to chant the official Sunset Valley chant, as is custom with breaking wax seals.

 _A low and gurgling moan begins, interspersed with dolphin squeaks and the cry of a bald eagle, and continues with a slow erratic drum beat in the background. All in the span of five minutes, exactly._

And now that that's taken care of, let's see what the mayor's office has to announce.

 _The slight whisper of parchment being unrolled._

...Oh...dear...uh...p-precious listeners...uh...I am truly shocked and unprepared for this official mayoral announcement. It would seem that this is an official proclamation directly from mayor Leodore Lionheart himself! According to this, the mayor has officially declared that the new strip mall was illegally built, citing that the location is atop an ancient burial site. This official proclamation is also citing how that same area has already been zoned for construction of a new skate park, which, upon completion, all residents of Sunset Valley are officially warned against entering, speaking about, looking at, or even acknowledging.

Listeners, I am unsure as to what this official declaration means but...oh...dear...I'm being passed a note by our office intern, Louise. It would appear that the ramifications for the mayor's declaration are taking immediate effect, as the entire structure of the mall itself has begun to...disintegrate? Precious listeners, I haven't heard of a large building in all of Sunset Valley disintegrating...in at least seven months, but that was part of our traditional Valentine's Day celebration.

Oh...my...I am being passed another note from Louise. According to some anonymous tips, the mammals in military fatigues are currently attempting to halt the disintegration of the mall, by trying to force their way into City Hall. Fortunately, City Hall is never in any one fixed location for long, as it has a tendency to disappear and reappear all over town and in the surrounding desert. As a result, the militarily-dressed mammals who are not officially associated with any branch of any military are now beginning to question any mammal on the street about the whereabouts of City Hall. And a new note that I've been passed is informing me that as the mall continues to disintegrate, the local sheriff's department are now clashing with the military fatigue dressed mammals. This...this is starting to get ugly…

And now, your weekly forecast!

 _What is reality? Reality is what?_

 _What is reality? Reality is what?_

 _What is reality? Reality is what?_

 _What is reality? Reality is what?_

 _What is reality? Reality is what?_

 _All that is and ever was, and ever shall be within our universe, is but a dew drop on the back of a great cosmic tortoise. Our lives are not our own, yet they are in our possession. Do with this knowledge whatever you shall, for it is truly inconsequential. To say that we are but dust on the wind is to give our individual existences far too much credit. We each one of us barely make up any one percentage of the subatomic particles that make up an individual particle of dust. We must learn to overcome our desires to be relevant to the ever indifferent universe if we are ever to truly be free._

 _In short...just get over yourself._

Excellent news precious listeners! Peace has been officially restored! After the mall finished disintegrating, the military-fatigue wearing mammals all starting disintegrating as well. Once what was left of their forms ceased writhing in agony, and then ceased to be altogether, order was quickly restored to the town. This was done by way of the sheriff's department saying certain trigger phrases that, when heard by the average Sunset Valley citizen, will activate a pre-programmed series of commands within all of our psyches, making us all return to our homes and make peanut butter sandwiches.

At the location where the Sunset Valley strip mall used to stand, there is now a set of construction equipment and a construction crew, who have already broken ground on the new skate park. I'm sure that it's going to be a fantastic new addition to our bustling town square. Of course, after its completion, no one shall be allowed to acknowledge its existence under threat of immediate arrest, internment, and subsequent re-education. So basically an average misdemeanor.

And now another word from our sponsors!

 _Do you ever get the feeling that you're not alone in your house at night? Do you ever get the feeling of being watched, especially from the space underneath your bed? Do you tend to feel an overwhelming sense of dread whenever you pass by that picture of your long deceased great aunt? You know, the picture where the eyes follow you? Didn't you shut that closet door?_

 _Choose Sprinter Mobile! After all, yes...yes you did in fact shut that closet door. Are those...footsteps? Coming from the attic? But wait...you don't have an attic…_

 _Sprinter Mobile! Now the footsteps are coming from right around the corner...blocking off your only way out of the room...and they're getting closer...and closer...and closer…_

 _Sprinter Mobile! Act fast...or else…_

Well now, this just in precious listeners. I have been instructed to officially retract my earlier broadcasted statements revolving around there ever being any strip mall near the town square, as well as the presence of mysterious mammals dressed in military fatigues being involved in any way. Our sleepy little town is safe, and that's all that we need to know about the situation. Anyone with any questions about the events that had transpired today is instructed to keep their mouths shut, and to just go on like any other day.

Those with questions, who are being particularly persistent about it, can instead call up a representative from Sunset Valley's hidden council, who will be more than happy to forcibly escort you to a place where you can have those questions answered, and never return from. You don't even need to actually call anyone. Simply ask your question, while enunciating loudly and clearly in your living room in your house, and an informant for the hidden council shall hear you just fine.

Precious listeners, I just found, stuck to the bottom of my left shoe, a small and hastily-looking scrawled note, written on a napkin. What in the worlds? Ho boy! Ladies, gentlemen, and those that identify however they wish to, I have some BIG news! According to this note, which appears to be a plea for help, our local high school football team's rivals, the _Wasteland Ridge High School_ team, the _Arachnids_ , have all come down with a strange and violent illness. One which bears a striking similarity to the one that Quarterback Luke Dooney contracted from a wandering vagrant moose, who transmitted it through a bite. Apparently the source of the infection for their team was an infected shrew mail carrier, as his uniform suggested, who was only quarantined after biting several players and the assistant coach.

All those bitten report feeling dizzy and headaches, shortly before collapsing. When they regain consciousness, all of the infected appear to develop a taste for flesh, predator and prey alike. Any and all bitten by the infected will themselves become just like them. Precious listeners, don't you see what's happening? The hated _Wasteland Ridge_ has to forfeit the upcoming game! Yet another victory for our _Sunset Valley Ghouls_ , albeit a rather unorthodox victory.

This has truly been quite the eventful and memorable day, which no one shall be allowed to remember most of. Up next, a radio program that only beings from the sixth, eighth, and negative fortieth dimensions can hear and understand. As is usual, good evening Sunset Valley. Good evening...and good luck...

 **And there you have it dear readers! I certainly hope that you enjoyed this experimental first installment in my new Zootopia-style tribute to** _ **Welcome to Night Vale**_ **! Of course, be sure to take the time to check out my other stories here on FanFiction,** _ **The Door**_ **and its spin-off** _ **The Shift**_ **! Also my two stories on FanFiction's sister site, Fictionpress,** _ **The Fox's Path**_ **and** _ **The Thaumaturgist**_ **!**

 **Also, this story of mine is part of a great collaborative effort amongst many other wonderful and talented writers, who are all writing their own stories for the project, which was all organized by AeroQC!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello there, dear readers! I'm super happy to bring you the next chapter of** _ **Welcome to Sunset Valley**_ **! Sorry for the delay, but I have so many stories that I'm working on at the moment that it has made for slower chapter updates. Be sure to check out my stories** _ **The Door**_ **and its sequel,** _ **The Keyhole**_ **for more fun Zootopia fanfiction, and be sure to check out my other stories over on Fictionpress . com. They are** _ **The Fox's Path**_ **,** _ **The Thaumaturgist**_ **, and** _ **Hairball**_ **! Thanks once again for reading, and be sure to tell me what you think!**

They are watching you. They are _always_ watching you. They have been watching you, long before you ever came to be. _You_ are an insignificant little speck to them... and yet they still watch. They are waiting... but not for much longer. Welcome... to Sunset Valley...

[ _Intro Music Plays_ ]

Welcome back, precious listeners. As always, I am your host, Honey Badger, here to bring you news about our special little desert town.

I have some exciting news, precious listeners! The construction of the new skate park has finally finished. Yes, over eleven and a half acres of concrete ramps, half-pipes, grinding rails, totems carved in the likenesses of ancient deities of chaos and madness, and even a concession stand, just finished and awaiting scores of Sunset Valley youth to come and eventually injure themselves on... that will never have the opportunity. That is because, as of the moment of its completion, no one is allowed in, near, to look at, or even to acknowledge the skate park. This is all under pain of arrest, internment at a secret facility, and reeducation.

Oh, in fact, precious listeners, I have just been handed a note informing me that I am to retract my earlier statement about the skate park... I mean, about something that I am not legally allowed to acknowledge the existence of. What's more, I have just been informed that all those of you who made the mistake of listening to my earlier statements regarding... such a thing, are to inform the local Sheriff's office for immediate arrest. Failure to do so shall result in an additional scolding along with the internment at the aforementioned secret facility and the also aforementioned reeducation. Those wishing to turn themselves in need not go directly to the Sheriff's office, they need only to speak in a succinct voice into any lamp shade, showerhead, mechanical pencil, or utensil drawer in their houses. They will hear your confession just fine... they always do... but only if you enunciate clearly.

Moving on, next on the docket, my fine mammals, is something you'll all be very excited to hear about. There have been reports of a new mammal having wandered into town. That's right folks, we have an outsider in our midst.

Now, I know that the Sunset Valley Chamber of Congress prefers that whenever a new mammal to town arrives, that citizens point and scream at them the word _interloper_ , which eyewitnesses reporting on the newcomer's every single action have diligently been doing. But what makes _this_ interloper stand out more than the others is that they appear to be a species of mammal never before seen by Sunset Valley residents. In fact, there's no zoological record of any mammal even remotely like this one at all, as has been reported by one helpful eyewitness after consulting the Hall of Recorded Species. Of course, since the Chamber of Congress declared it illegal for anyone to ever enter the Hall of Recorded Species, they were quickly arrested by the Sheriff's Department in windowless black vans with matching license plates that read, _Knowledge is power, and power is dangerous in the wrong hands. Therefore, to be safe, all forms of power must be kept out of everyone's hands at all times, in any form it takes. If you are entering this van against your own volition, then you have no one else to blame for it other than yourself._ Wow, I just realized that that's a lot to squeeze onto a license plate.

Anyway, precious listeners, this new person in town, this new... mammal... is just so... odd. And I don't mean our little town's special brand of odd... or maybe I do...

Eyewitnesses are reporting that the mammal in question stands at around six and a half feet tall, they weigh just a little over one hundred and thirty three pounds, and that their breath smells faintly of crisp mint and a splash of coconut. This tidbit of information was supplied by the Office of Interloper Weighing, Measuring, Monitoring, and Breath Smell Analysis, as is standard. Also, he is reported to be politely introducing himself as Matthew Peyton. My, my, my, this sounds like one interesting... _specimen_...

And now on to the daily traffic report!

There is a mammal, a rhinoceros, driving alone in the dead of night. His clothes are wrinkled, the left sleeve of his flannel jacket torn open. Underneath the tear are three claw marks, exposing bright pink flesh and crusted with dried blood. His eyes have a haunted look to them, as well as the look of one who has gone several days without sleep. He swerves a little on the road, and knows that he is pushing himself beyond the point of exhaustion. He knows that he should pull over, that he is in no condition to keep driving. But he doesn't dare. He knows what has been following him for the past few days. And while he hasn't seen any sign of it for over six hours, he just knows that if he stops, it will catch up to him, and finish what it started. He feels the stinging reminder in his left arm, and shudders in horror. As he checks his rearview mirror, he freezes. For a second, he thought he saw movement in the back seat. He looks back to the road only for a second and then back to the mirror, looking into several dozen crimson red, hate-filled eyes. His ears twitch at the sound of a low, wet, sickening, and all too hauntingly familiar gurgle coming from the back seat.

And that was a look at the traffic report!

Precious listeners! I have just received a text from our office intern, Kevin, who claims that he managed to take a discreet picture of the new mammal with his phone, while of course screaming _Interloper_ and pointing at them. Oho! Kevin's so diligent, why, he's even gotten fourteen of the fifteen special stickers on his I.D. card that, when he gets that fifteenth one, shall receive stoplight exemption for a whole year! Anyways, Kevin's going to be sending me the picture he took of the mammal any second now and... oh... my...

... Listeners... this mammal in question has a completely furless face... aside of course from the eyebrows. I cannot tell if the rest of his tanned body underneath that smart-looking white polo-shirt is hairless as well... but considering how tight it is... and how well he seems to be wearing it, I would have to say that there isn't much hair to be found under there... His eyes are the most striking shade of emerald green... and his nose! I have yet to see a nose shaped like that before, yet it's... kinda cute, on his face. And those lips... but his face is showing not only a sign of intelligence... but also a sign of confusion... and a hint of worry... I just want to help the poor guy, however I can.

What the, oh no... Listeners, I have just received terrible news. The new mammal, whose name I have just been informed is Matthew, has just been arrested for acknowledging... uh... something that I legally cannot acknowledge... eyewitnesses have reported several sheriff's deputies dragging him into one of their cruisers and driving off to an undisclosed location.

And now a word from our sponsors!

 _Cold... and dark. The depths beneath the sea are always cold and dark. The things that lurk down there are also cold and dark... and intelligent... and cunning. And they are coming. As they draw ever closer to the surface, the light stinging their cold and dark flesh only a little, they begin to hunger. They all hunger greatly. Seize a Snackers..._

Listeners! It is as I have feared... the new mammal, Matthew, the beautiful new mammal - and these additional photos our office intern, Kevin, discreetly took, further prove him to be quite the snappy dresser - has arrived at the secret compound for reeducation. As we all know, the secret compound for reeducation is located just beneath the local bowling alley, _Strike It From The Records. No One Can Ever Know The True Purpose Of This Facility, Ever. The Ground-Level Section Shall Be A Bowling Alley, Which Will Act As A Front. We'll Need To Come Up With A Proper Name For The Place Though. CLAWHAUSER! What Are You Writing Down There? It Had Better Be A Potential Name For The Bowling Alley Front Right Above Us!_ as is its name in bright blinking green neon above the front entrances. Which, of course, all the local residents simply refer to as _the_ bowling alley, since there's only one in town.

According to Kevin, the mysterious and exotic-looking mammal named Matthew is being roughly shoved out of the van, a black cloth sack over his head, and is being pushed through the front doors. Kevin sent a few texts explaining that he was going to continue following the sheriff's deputies and Matthew inside. More on this developing story to come.

And now, the weekly horoscopes!

Aries! Your horoscope today says... do not open any lavender scented letters you receive today. Under absolutely no circumstance should you open any lavender scented letters you receive today. I cannot stress this enough. **Do not open it!**

Taurus! According to your horoscope... you will see a bright series of slowly rotating stars in the night sky tonight. Only you shall be able to see them, no one else will. You will have a choice to make. Thankfully, there is a complex mathematical equation that can be applied to each of the rotating stars you observe. Hopefully you'll be able to figure it out in time. And if not... well, you were warned...

Gemini! Today is a great day for love! Any and all romantic feelings that you wish to explore today, by all means, feel free to do so! After filling out all of the proper paperwork first. And of course, seeing a doctor and getting the required blood test. Now is the time for action!

Cancer! You might also want to see a medical professional today, and get some tests done. No specific reason... and the thick psychedelic haze that surrounded your house a few weeks ago is in no way involved with this statement. None whatsoever.

Leo! Today is most certainly _not_ your lucky day! Be very careful about any packages you accept from strange mammals dressed in orange hazmat suits. Be sure to look both ways, in every possible alternate reality to be sure, before crossing the street. And don't go walking underneath any ladders today. Some of them might be beings from the aforementioned alternate realities that resemble ladders, but are actually dangerous predators. It actually might be best for everyone to err on the side of extreme caution around any ladder you might come across. Be especially wary if it seems that a ladder is moving whenever you are not looking at it.

Virgo! Be sure to drink plenty of water today! Complimentary bottles of water are being delivered to you house. Be sure to drink them all. Please disregard any and all voices, whispers, screams, or pleas of mercy that you might think you are hearing from each bottle that you open. The water is safe and came from a natural spring. Not any spring that was located next to any kind of ancient burial site. And definitely not any burial site for entities that come from the space between universes.

Libra! Today is going to be one hectic day! Be sure to expect things along the lines of the copy machine at work jamming, spontaneous mammalian combustion, flat tires, and an unnerving encounter from a person from your past.

Scorpio! HEY! PICK UP THAT CAN YOU DROPPED! DON'T LITTER! PUT IT IN THE PROPER RECYCLING BIN, NOW!

Sagittarius! Good news! Your pet snake is going to be just fine! He was only a little sick, and Fluffy will be back to his usual listless self in no time! Oh wait, you're saying that you never had a pet snake? Sure you have! In a parallel universe, you have a pet snake named Fluffy! WE ALL DO. WE ALL DO. WE ALL DO. [ _Unintelligible Gurgling._ ]

Capricorn! [ _Loud Static Hiss, Interspersed With Chorused Voices in Multiple Languages._ ]

Aquarius! You might want to wear some sort of protective helmet today. No reason.

Pices! You shall be subjected to random drug testing today. Please report to the white, unmarked office building near the library today to await the randomized assortment of drugs that shall be tested on you. Failure to comply shall result in automatically failing the drug test. And before you ask, yes, we do know how drug tests work. The question is, do you?

Listeners, it would seem that Kevin, our faithful office intern, was caught attempting to gain entry into the lower sections of the bowling alley. And he sent me several frightful texts explaining that he attempted to flee, but was quickly surrounded. I received a picture. From the angle of the picture, I can see frightened teenaged weasel in a blue flannel shirt and jeans, clearly Kevin, being tackled by a masked wolf dressed in a hot pink uniform and cape, one of the sheriff's deputies. And that was the last thing sent to me by Kevin.

To the family and friends of our, it seems now former, office intern, Kevin McAlister, I would like to express my condolences. While we here at the station have yet to receive any confirmation of Kevin's... outcome... I sincerely doubt that we ever will receive any information regarding Kevin. Furthermore, I think we all know that anyone asking any questions about Kevin from here on out can expect to be made to disappear shortly afterwards, so no real point in looking into it further. But I do have some good news! It's looking like we're going to have an open slot for a new office intern here at the station very soon! If you are interested in interning here, and are not afraid of potentially being taken to a secret location against your will for indefinite detainment, be sure to drop off an application at the front desk!

And now, another word from our sponsors!

 _You hear a low buzzing hum coming from behind you. You turn to see what's making the noise, but instead, you still hear it coming from behind you. Slowly, it starts to grow in pitch. You turn and search and search and search. Still, the noise is coming from right behind you. The pitch rises again, and there is pain. You realize that the buzzing is actually coming from inside your own head. You reach up to touch your ears... and pull back your paw, the tip covered in blood. The pitch rises again, the pain becomes unbearable, and now you are aware of the sensation of many tiny things crawling about under your flesh. You can see bumps moving across your arms as patches of your fur start to fall out in clumps._

 _Snip into a Slender James._

Precious listeners, there has been a development with the legal abduction, imprisonment, and reeducation of the new mammal to our small town. Kevin, our station intern, somehow managed to send out a single text to the Sunset Valley Chamber of Congress, who secretly oversee all the actions of the Sheriff's department. While the majority of what the text read cannot be disclosed over the air, I am allowed to report this. The legal abduction of the strange new mammal named Matthew Peyton, was not legal at all! It was revealed during questioning that the species of mammal that he claims to be, something called a hue-mann, is not registered anywhere as being an existing species. Since he is claiming to be of a species that is not registered as officially existing, the Sheriff's department, by order of the Chamber of Congress, released Matthew and are now pretending not to see or hear him, and must continue to do so until Matthew's species is officially recorded.

I have just been passed a note from the Chamber of Congress stating that the Official Species Registering Ceremony can only take place during a solar eclipse, so Matthew's going to have to wait another two and a half months before the Sheriff's department can officially acknowledge his existence. Based on the reports from the many eyewitnesses and a few of the more careless deputies, as well as these striking pictures... oh, uh, M-Matthew... I mean, Mr. Peyton, seems to be a kind and polite enough mammal. So therefore, I don't think that we have to worry about him potentially abusing the legal loophole of actually being above the law for the next two and a half months.

Whoops, it looks like I almost forgot to take you to this week's forecast!

 _It crawls. No. It slithers. Yes. It quickly slithers from shadow to shadow, circling, watching. It is not a snake, yet it slithers. Its red eyes are filled with malice and glee. It stalks its prey. It watches all of the different kinds of prey as they all walk on their hind legs, and go about their day. It watches as some get into cars and drive around. It watches from alleys, sewer drains, shaded rooftops, anywhere there is darkness. It likes the dark. And it's waiting for the sun to set. It will slither out at night to roam the streets and neighborhoods, searching for any unwary prey foolish enough to be out and about at night on their own. It slithers and it waits._

 _And it smiles a wicked and horrid smile on the mismatched and fanged maw that is its mouth._

Listeners, it has been confirmed that Matthew has already rented a room at the Blood Moon Motel, just off of Main Street, and has confirmed that he's going to be looking into finding much more long-term lodgings! This is so exciting! He claims to have no idea of how he had arrived in this odd and out-of-place little town of ours, but that he rather likes it, and is considering moving here. He has also stated that he has no memory of ever trying to get to Sunset Valley, or even ever hearing about it before. Just that one minute, he was stepping foot out the door of his childhood home in some place called San Dye-ego, wherever that is, when he suddenly fell down onto a dusty desert landscape, where large things could be observed moving beneath the sandy and rocky landscape. That was how he had wandered into town, just like so many of the new arrivals during our tourism boom!

Well now, precious listeners, I must say that today was quite the interesting day! It would seem like our potential new resident got quite the welcome to our odd little town, and we at the station are going to be welcoming a new intern soon! So exciting! As a matter of fact, I think I'm going to go and see if I can't get an interview with Mr. Peyton. Just him and myself, one on one, perhaps under the stars at Gideon's Bakery, the best and only bakery not burned down under mysterious circumstances in all of Sunset Valley. Oh, uh... coming up next, listeners, is the sounds of repetitive chanting in ancient languages set to the music of _The Beagles' Greatest Hits_. As always, good evening Sunset Valley. Good evening... and good luck...

 **And there we have it, dear readers! I would like to thank my good friend, Trismegistus Shandy, for proofreading my story. They are a very talented author, and you can find their stories on TGStorytime . com! Also, the cover for this story was made by my good friend, Mr Black and White, so shout out to them too!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello there, dear readers! I have returned with the newest chapter of** _ **Welcome to Sunset Valley**_ **! If you weren't already aware, this Zootopia-themed FanFiction is a tribute to the amazingly dark, funny, brilliant, deep, and crazy fake radio show/podcast called** _ **Welcome to Night Vale**_ **. Please be sure to check the show out, for all of the reasons listed previously. And once more I am happily giving a shoutout and thanks to my very good friend,** _ **Trismegistus Shandy**_ **, for proofreading this chapter. They are themselves a very talented author, and their works can be found on the site, TGStorytime . com, so be sure to give their stories a read as well! Now, without any further ado, please enjoy!**

Sunset Valley (Chapter 3)

by

Elite Shade

Look to the stars! Remain looking at those beautifully sinister stars. There is absolutely nothing to be concerned about in the ground beneath you. Not a _single_ dangerous thing preparing to attack you from below. Just keep focusing on nothing else but those twinkling stars in the night sky. Welcome to Sunset Valley.

[ _Intro Music Plays_ ]

Hello again, precious listeners. As always, or for as long as you have come to perceive it that way, I am your host, Honey Badger. Once more, I bring you the news of the goings on of our sleepy little community.

So, precious listeners, today's program is going to be dedicated to a fascinating member of our community. And no, it's, unfortunately, not going to be about the mysterious new member of our community, the hue-mann Matthew. Although he and I were able to schedule a one-on-one interview this coming Friday... and I'm so excited! OH! Uh... a-anyway, listeners, today's program is about one of our wonderful little community's unsung heroes, Maurice Ramsley.

Mr. Ramsley, for those who are unaware, is one of Sunset Valley's brave Volunteer Librarians. That's right, five days a week he puts his life on the line to protect all of us ordinary citizens from the dangers lurking within the Sunset Valley Library. Mainly books and the harmful ideas that they tend to contain. He is the kind, twenty-six year old ram who can usually be seen at the Volunteer Librarian Station in the Library itself, by those brave enough to venture inside. He is always willing to greet those that enter with a warm smile, always standing at the ready with his battle trident to be used at a moment's notice should any of the books become too violent.

And now on to the traffic report!

There is a mammal, a russet-colored fox, driving in a cherry red convertible. The wind rustles his headfur as he drives along. He observes, through his aviators, a forest that he and his passenger pass. The light grey rabbit with the piercing lavender eyes smiles as she holds up her phone to record the passing scenery. She is wearing a light blue sundress, while the fox is yet again dressed in a green unbuttoned Pawaiian shirt, underneath which is a white tank top. His jeans are a little faded and worn, but like the rest of his outfit, they are comfortable. The fox is startled by a quick kiss from the slightly smaller mammal, causing him to swerve ever so slightly, before regaining his cool composure. He looks at her as she lets out a giggle, before returning his bright green eyes to the road. They aren't fully aware of exactly where their destination is, other than it's in a desert, and that they feel some unseen force calling to them, drawing them in. And that the name of it is Sunset Valley.

That was a look at today's traffic!

Back to Maurice Ramsley, the brave Volunteer Librarian who stands as a sacred line of defense between the average Sunset Valley citizen and a horrifying death at the venomous claws of the books he stands guard over. But he is so much more than just a Volunteer Librarian, which is not to undermine the position that so few willingly choose to take up like Maurice did. I simply mean that there is more to the mammal than the job he volunteers to do without receiving any payment for it... aside from the weekly hazard pay, of course.

For instance, many of you fine mammals out there probably are unaware of just how much of a snappy dresser Maurice is. His preferred outfit is a pair of pristine white slacks and a matching undershirt, with a sweater-vest. And yes, it is cashmere. He likes to keep his wool trimmed neatly, year round, and take immaculate care of his hooves. He is also never seen without the amulet dangling from a chain around his neck. It's of a silver oak leaf, with a red eye carved in the center, that has a real ruby as an iris. Also, more than one mammal has reported the eye of the amulet blinking and glowing on several occasions. I wonder how Matthew would look in a sweater-vest... hmm... now that's a sight I wouldn't mind seeing from that tall drink of wa-EHEM!

What I meant to say, precious listeners, is that it's time for a word from one of our sponsors!

 _You're watching a movie, an old black and white film. You're not sure of how old it is, just that it's something way before your time, and that it's one of your favorites. You worked hard today, your hooves practically throbbing from standing on them all day. You looked forward to coming home and relaxing with an old classic movie. But you find that you can't relax, as you stare at the paused black and white image on your television screen. You sip the glass of wine you poured for yourself, to complement the pricey but worth it soy-based cheeses on those fancy alfalfa crackers you enjoy so much, to really make an evening of it, and find what you see with your own two eyes to be far too unsettling to allow for you to relax._

 _In the scene before you, one that you have seen countless times before and know almost by heart, you see something very... different. Or perhaps... out of place is the better phrasing. That's because, on the easy chair in the background of the mansion in the movie, behind the actors from long ago, is you. Not your reflection on the screen itself, but you, dressed for the role of someone in the background of the fancy dinner party. There you sit, with a warm smile on your muzzle, in black and white, as frozen as everything else in the scene. As you stare, the fear and anxiety growing within you, you see a fraction of movement as the black and white version of you, despite the movie still being paused, turns its head to face you, its smile growing wider, but also colder. The image of you opens its mouth to speak._

 _Get Straightforward TV today!_

Getting back to the ram in question, and not the strangely curious new mammal in our midst called a hue-mann, Matthew, or that cute way he tends to look around nervously as he acclimates to the many quirks of our quaint little desert town, the females of Sunset Valley will be happy to know that Maurice is officially on the market. He hasn't exactly expressed a specific desire to find a mate, or to enter any kind of a romantic relationship, but the secret agent responsible for observing and secretly reporting on Maurice, Duke Weasleton who lives at 436 Cypress Lane, was overheard whispering into the cuff of his black suit that he could tell that Maurice was starting to show the signs of either planning on making harmful knowledge freely available to the public or looking to find that special someone, as both actions have similar tells.

And now, this week's Horoscopes!

Aries! Your house is a mess. I mean really! Who just leaves their clothes all strewn about like that, in the living room no less? And that layer of dust on your bookshelf is almost an inch thick! And that carpet needs some good deodorizing and vacuuming! I know for a fact that the mammals working for the various indeterminate and ominous authorities would appreciate you making your home much more presentable before their next random and thorough search of it. Oh, and they also said to ask for you to do something about those cobwebs in the corners of your ceiling.

Taurus! Watch out for that old lady trying to cross the road today! You might accidentally miss her, and we can't have that. Not after the things she's seen and done. We... can't... have... that... [Sound of a Babbling Brook]

Gemini! Today's a great day for some fishing! Specifically, for the answers to the burning and all-consuming question that is always at the forefront of your mind. Of course... you may not like the answer that you get... or the consequences of simply asking...

Cancer! Things have been set in motion. Great things, terrible things, wondrous things, and nightmarish things. They have all been set in motion, and you alone are solely responsible for all that comes next... for better or worse, you are responsible...

Leo! Watch out for random holes and doorways into alternate dimensions opening up around you. It's a good idea to act like nothing is out of the ordinary, as a general rule,but still... watch out.

Virgo! Chin up Virgo! Life can really get us all down from time to time, and today might very well be one of those days for you. However, just keep a positive attitude, a spring in your step, a spare grappling hook or two on paw, and maybe a shuriken or some poison blow darts, complete with blowgun, up your sleeve and things will turn out for the better.

Libra! Today, the planets have aligned in a way that you may choose to find some significance or meaning from, in an attempt to ignore the celestial bodies' movements with absolutely no regards whatsoever for your existence. The idea of our lives being at the mercy of things far beyond our understanding or control is slightly more comforting than staring out into a cold and indifferent universe, of which there is no purpose or order at all.

Scorpio! You're going to have a tendency to stand in your own way today, like with most days. Granted, that's usually because of your clone, who is an exact duplicate, always intentionally getting in your way, due to some deep-seated resentment that fosters a desire to inconvenience and/or kill you at all times of their existence. Just try to get out of your own way, okay? This is just getting childish.

Sagittarius! Your only limit is your imagination... well, that and the federal restrictions placed on your imagination. But what do you expect, letting your imagination run wild like that? That's just being an irresponsible imagination owner! Another slip-up like that and you just might lose your imagination license!

Capricorn! Someone's been extra good this week! Therefore, you've earned a special free pie voucher from Gideon's Bakery, the best and only bakery in town not burned to the ground under mysterious circumstances. It is good for one free pie, with the purchase of a large drink, and can be claimed from any of the Sheriff's Deputies! You need only step right up to any random Deputy, and say the super special fun phrase "I, insert name, hereby confess to the string of burglaries that has been stumping you and your department for the past few months." This special voucher giveaway, which is reserved specifically for Capricorns to collect, is sponsored by the local Sheriff's Department!

Aquarius! It would seem that things will not be going your way in the upcoming week. Everything will be going the exact opposite of your intended way, actually. That includes traffic, the wind, time (or at least how you choose to perceive the idea of it), any rivers you might try to swim in, and etc. Nope, things will not be going your way at all! Be careful...

Pisces! At some point in the upcoming week, the actions of your ordinarily day to day life will become an exact duplicate of that dream you had last week. You know, the one that was kinda like a musical, but with sections of your body melting away and sloughing off your pristine, bleached skeleton, which shall remain animated and controlled by your consciousness? Yeah, that's the one! That sounds like quite the eventful week for you, Pisces!

Well, I would be remiss if I did not also inform you, the precious listeners, that Maurice Ramsley stands at a whopping five feet and ten inches, which is pretty big for a caprid, and weighs in at around two-hundred and eighty pounds, which one look at those lithe and rippling muscles from under his shirt and sweater-vest makes that number all too believable. This is most likely a result of his very dedicated workout routine, which can be observed out in the desert, when he thinks he's alone and not being watched. Those watching him, usually disguised as shrubbery and other parts of the landscape, can enjoy the sight of Maurice summoning shadowy two-dimensional entities that he then fights off, again and again, with of course his trusty trident, and occasionally the dagger hidden up his sleeve. I have to wonder if Matthew enjoys working out... and I also have to wonder if he enjoys working out without a shirt on..

OH! Uhm... h-h-here we have another word from yet another one of our station's sp-sponsors!

 _His scent still lingers in the air, making your tail give an involuntary wag. You let out a sigh as you roll over in bed, enjoying how his scent has intermingled with the bed sheets. Climb down from the bed, and stretch a little, looking at the disheveled clothes strewn about, giggling a little at the memory of how nervous he had been the night before. You pad serenely down the hall and into your kitchen, which is also a mess. Dark red stains were splashed and spattered about._

 _A large blood stain forms a very clear drag mark that leads out into your living room, where there is the circle formed from the still-lit candles and the symbols drawn with his blood. He had been reluctant to partake in the ritual, been so nervous and fidgety. But you smile down at his lifeless carcass, laying eviscerated in the center of the circle, the wolf's body long since cold, just after the invisible entities had turned his fear and pain into sheer terror and agony before they claimed his soul._

 _Got soy milk?_

Okay there, precious listeners, time to get this program back on track! Maurice Ramsley, one of Sunset Valley's premiere eligible bachelors. According to the various reports on him, two of which were hastily scrawled on used napkins from the bowling alley, and I think that that's nacho cheese sauce on the corner of this one, Maurice enjoy reading, writing, long walks through the desert, and bi-monthly ritualistic chanting out in the Peridot Canyon during the full and new moon. He dislikes having to harm a book without just cause, country music, and attempts made on his life by masked mammals resembling the classic image of ninjas.

Oh, silly me, I'm making this sound like a dating profile for the ram... hmm... now there's a thought... Precious listeners, while I ruminate on that last thought, please allow me to take you to the weekly forecast.

 _It has come again. For the last few months, every two weeks or so, it has arrived at your front door, and knocked. It is always insistent, wanting you to open the door. You don't know what it is... other than what you saw when you looked through the peephole, which will haunt your nightmares for the rest of your life... and possibly long into your next one..._

 _It begins again, knocking lightly, continuously, with only a hint at being impatient. But, like clockwork, the knocks gradually become louder and much more fervent. As the night wears on, the knocking becomes banging, loud and angry. How dare you keep it out, the sound of the knocks ask in lieu of a nonexistent voice. Soon they can no longer be called knocks, as it sounds as though there's something heavy slamming against the door now, repeatedly. It wants in, very, very badly. And you wonder to yourself, how much longer can the door possibly hold?_

 _You don't wonder what will happen if it ever manages to get in. The primordial fear in the back of your mind tells you exactly what will happen. The slamming continues and grows even louder as the night wears on. Finally, at the break of dawn, just as you start to hear a couple of crunches from the last two heavy slams against the door, there is an agitated hiss as the sun rises, and suddenly, the pounding stops altogether. You release your pent-up breath for now, until you see the condition of your front door, and the dread returns._

And that was a look at the upcoming weekly forecast!

Well, precious listeners, as I was pondering... what I was pondering just before the weekly forecast, we here at the station were surprised to find that we had received a call from none other than Maurice Ramsley himself. He called to say that he was flattered to have today's broadcast dedicated to him, and to thank us for the kind words. He also went on to say that, while flattering, he doesn't really need the local community radio's help to begin dating, as he has recently started seeing someone. He wouldn't say who, just that he and this new someone in his life were just meeting up for drinks, and seeing where things would go from there. And I really tried to get the information out of him, precious listeners, I mean, I really grilled him on it.

He politely thanked me for my time, and then ended the call. Well Maurice, may you and whomever this mysterious someone that you're meeting for drinks at the still undisclosed location have a nice time. And also, I would like to thank Maurice, not only for taking the time to call us up here at the station, but also for your brave service as a Volunteer Librarian. It would seem that this concludes today's broadcast. Coming up next is fourteen hours of subliminal advertising to join the hidden army of samurai on the next dimensional plane. And as always, good night, precious listeners. Good night... and... good luck...

 **Hey there, readers! I just cannot even begin to tell you just how much fun writing this story is. Thank you very much for taking the time to read it and my other stories, assuming that you have. Be sure to let me know what you think!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello again, dear readers! I'm back with the newest odd installment of** _ **Welcome to Sunset Valley**_ **! I'm sorry for the long delay, but I hit a bit of a creative slump lately, but I just got my second writing wind. Also, once more I'm giving a shout out to my good friend, an awesome proofreader, and an amazing author,** _ **Trismegistus Shandy**_ **!**

 **And, be sure to check out my other works.**

Welcome to Sunset Valley (Chapter 4)

by

Elite Shade

Live every day as though it were your last. Cowering in sheer terror of the sudden and potentially horrendous end that is coming for you. Statistically speaking, there is a very good chance that every day _is_ potentially your last one, as great and terrible cosmic forces converge on our virtually defenseless section of space and time. Welcome to Sunset Valley.

[ _Intro Music Plays_ ]

Whew. Welcome back, precious listeners. I am your host, Honey Badger. I know that to those listening there may have been a lapse of some time between our last episode, possibly by a week or so, but I'll have to consult a calendar to be certain. And I will of course summon a calendar to consult at midnight in the proper ritualistic stone circle in my kitchen, per Chamber of Commerce regulations. We all know how dangerous calendars can be when summoned incorrectly. Anyways, the reason for our delay is due to one third of our town phasing out of this reality and into another one, one with many forests and glowing mushrooms that whispered sinister secrets.

While so far no one seems to fully know how or why this happened, or if they do, they apparently do not feel inclined to share those details with the rest of us for the time being, the entire ordeal only lasted, from the perspective of those of the town that phased out, half an hour. Well, those that were not dragged off into the forest by unseen beings, shrieking in terror before being silenced. While this was, perhaps... inconvenient for many, there was at least one stroke of luck with the ordeal. Matthew was also one of the mammals to enter into the strange forested landscape, so he and I didn't miss our date! It was going to be on Friday, so we'll just have to make it _this_ Friday!

And now for the traffic report!

 _The clicking noise has returned. You remember last month when you first started to hear it. You'd thought that it had been coming from your glove box. But no. It's not coming from there. Then you thought that it must have been coming from under your seat, but after a thorough search, you found nothing that could be the culprit. As time continued to pass, the clicking started to grow in volume, and now is also accompanied by a tooth-jarring scrape._

 _You have already seen a mechanic about the noise, and at first she didn't believe you. You remember how you had started up the car, expecting the clicking noise to be gone for the duration of the mechanic listening for it, only to return at some point that they were out of hearing range. However, almost immediately, there came the click-scrape, now sounding like it was coming from the air conditioner. You remember how, while still worried about your only means of transportation, you had also been excited to know that the mechanic was hearing the noise and would have no choice but to agree that something was wrong._

 _You also remember looking up into their panic-stricken face, all the color beneath their black and white striped fur draining. And you remember how they hastily asked you to leave and never return, refusing to look under the hood. The noise has been getting louder, and more distracting, especially since it now seems to be coming from the passenger seat. You sense a presence there, something physical... something dangerous... with great reluctance, you look away from the road... and immediately wish that you hadn't._

And that was a look at traffic.

Exciting news, precious listeners! During the traffic report, I got a call from Matthew. He has agreed to keep our date... uh... I-I mean interview, scheduled for Friday. I'm so excited! Oh... but, uh, it would seem that, according to Matthew, who claims to have consulted the date and time on his phone, as strange as that may sound, that those of us who phased into that forest realm have been gone for almost a year... how can that be, though? The Sheriff's Department would never allow for citizens to disappear into another dimension for any longer than three and a half weeks without the proper paperwork filed in advance, and I for one certainly filed no such paperwork!

...Oh... uh... well, precious listeners... it would seems that there are now several Sheriff's Deputies here at the station... having apparently already heard my confession of disappearing into that strange world without filing any forms ahead of time...

While we here at the station... uh... deal with the repercussions of my admission, here's a word from one of our sponsors... oh boy.

 _That which we believe to be truths are also lies. Secrets live within all things, permeating all aspects of reality. Infesting all the way beyond the subatomic level with their murmuring. Secrets seek to be revealed, mysteries long to be solved. They seek their own destruction. And in so doing, seek the destruction of all things._

 _We are the secrets that the darkness in space tries to hide from the stars, and that which lives inside them. We are the mysteries of others who cannot comprehend us or our existence. And to discover us, to solve us, would be to destroy us._

 _Enjoy a refreshing Summit Condensation!_

And that was a word from our sponsor!

Alright, precious listeners. Everything's been all taken care of. The fine that the Sheriff's Office has demanded has been paid. As it turns out, due to some contracts that I signed with the station and those who control it, all in a previous life six hundred years ago, the Sheriff's Deputies couldn't actually take me as they had been planning, at least not for a minor infraction. So instead they worked out a new way to pay off my recently acquired fine. I wasn't really expecting them to take our newest station intern, Joakim, a peppy little jackrabbit who had started working just today, but the deputies had made their decision.

I'm not quite sure just how Joakim is going to be paying off my fine, although I do not believe that it shall be a pleasant experience... but thank you, Joakim, all of us here at the station truly appreciate it. In related news, the station is now looking to hire a new intern. If one does not sign up by the end of today, then a randomly selected mammal will be made into the new intern. I don't make the policy, so if you have any concerns or objections over being forcibly removed from your bedroom in the middle of the night and being delivered here at the station for training, due to your name being randomly selected, feel free to file a complaint with our head of HR, Humphrey. For those of you who do not know, Humphrey is the station's head of HR and mascot, a being made of oily-black tentacles and eyes. His office is just down the hall and to the left.

I spoke a little more with Matthew who, due to some previously unknown bylaws and loopholes all revolving around the fact that his species was still officially not registered as existing at the time of his phasing out of this reality and into another, will not only not be fined, but is actually required to be given a job at City Hall! According to article thirteen, section two, paragraph five of the town charter, he was given the position on the day of his disappearance, average salary for whatever position he is given, and full benefits. He is also to be given the back pay he has earned during his time in the other realm. There was some debate as to whether or not pay him for the almost full year, as was reported by one of City Hall's many custodians, or the half-hour as he, and the rest of those who disappeared, experienced. After much shrieking and more than one stabbing, the Chamber of Commerce elected to pay for the almost year.

And what makes this news even better, listeners, is that now Matthew has a steady income and a fairly impressive nest egg, which will all assist him in finding a proper place to live. Which is not to say that the Blood Moon Motel isn't a pleasant place. Please, Yax, don't go taking that the wrong way now. Now I have to wonder if Matthew might need some help in finding a house, or maybe an apartment...

And now it's time for your weekly horoscopes!

Aries! You are going to want to review chapter twenty-seven of your standard issue _Necronomicon_ , specifically the parts about dealing with summoned otherworldly beings from the nineteenth to the forty-second dimensions. You _**may**_ or may not be getting a pop quiz on it this week... or you _**may**_ or may not be dealing with summoned entities from the aforementioned dimensions. Either way, it's just a good idea to study up on it.

Taurus! This week is going to be a wonderful week to get started on your flower garden. In fact, you'll find that you now have a flower garden in full bloom somewhere on your property, courtesy of the Chamber of Commerce! If you are at all concerned about any whispering coming from the various flowers, or get the distinct impression that the sinister plants are watching you intently, don't you fret. That's just normal flower behavior.

Gemini! Well now, aren't you just proud of yourself? Okay, okay, I'll be the first to admit that single-hoofedly thwarting a secret alien conspiracy to abduct mammals and replace them with duplicates, all part of a collective hive-like intelligence, is pretty impressive. But there's no need to get a big head about it. Any number of other mammals could have just as easily done the same, but we were all busy attending a certain party that you weren't invited to. So there.

Cancer! Don't shoot the messenger. Seriously, it's immortal, so at most all that would do is just agitate it. Be polite and accept the message that it has come to bring you. Maybe even offer it a beverage, that's only polite. Eventually it will depart on its own. Then you can deal with the message it brought you.

Leo! Quick, go look under your bed! There's a surprise waiting for you! Not a good surprise like a stack of money or the severed head of an ancient and forgotten deity, but still pleasing nonetheless.

Virgo! So... you know how you were going on and on, all last month, about those things moving under the desert sand that you swore you saw, you know the ones that looked like scaly yellow octopi? The Sheriff's Department kinda just released a statement confirming their existence... so... yeah, sorry about not believing you. Please don't go rubbing it in, especially not while those things are moving closer and closer to town.

Libra! Today is going to be your lucky day! Hold your head up high as everything works out for you today! Of course, this is just a result of a typo on your daily luck allotment, so expect tomorrow and potentially the next few days to be very unlucky days for you. The Sheriff's department will be seeing to that personally.

Scorpio! The plans have changed! Several separate timelines have already collapsed, giving birth to new strands. If you haven't already, be sure to adjust your weekly plans accordingly. That is if you still exist; if not, well then, you've got bigger things to deal with, don't you?

Sagittarius! Practice makes perfect. Just keep chanting that mantra as you practice your different stabbing techniques on the practice dummies. And of course, remember that real mammals are not just going to stand there and silently wait for the harvest of their organs, at least not without seeing the proper permit first. But the new moon is fast approaching and you cannot wait on the time it takes to get one after submitting the application. Remember, practice makes perfect.

Capricorn! I have some wonderful news! You're being placed under heavy surveillance! Now this is different from the normal level of surveillance that you are constantly under, because the ones observing you wish for you to know that you are being watched by them. I'm not really sure who _they_ are, just that you have done something to make _them_ take an interest in you. Enjoy!

Aquarius! The stars have aligned in seemingly random patterns that some try to discern meaning from. You could try that if you want. It won't change the outcome of the upcoming week for you, nor do anything to prevent the eighth dimensional being made up entirely of tentacles from taking you as you sleep, but you may derive some comfort from the exercise.

Pisces! The results from your last drug test are finally in. While we here at the station are not privy to the information regarding your scores, it would seem at least that the administrators of the test do not seem too pleased. Or perhaps they are actually quite pleased. Since their faces have no discernable features whatsoever, it's a little hard to tell. Either way, I hope that you studied for that random drug test.

And that was a look at the upcoming week's horoscopes!

Well, listeners, we've returned from a place unknown, are going to be getting a new station intern, and Matthew has found himself employment as a clerk at City Hall. All in all, a fairly decent day, with hardly any ritualistic mammalian sacrifices. Oh! I have just been handed a note reminding me that I am not allowed to report on the goings-on within City Hall or the actions of the Chamber of Commerce. This is officially my first strike. Another sixteen, and apparently I shall be sent a strongly worded letter politely asking me to cease and desist in the mail, that may or may not contain mystic sigils and runes that could possibly open my mind and spirit to dangers that I am normally incapable of sensing... and that such ignorance protects me from.

Hmm... at the risk of being given a second strike for questioning the Chamber of Commerce and their rulings, I think I'm going to be consulting my standard-issue Necronomicon on this matter. For now though, let's listen to a word from our sponsors. 

_The Brood Moon rises in the night sky, bathing the world in a bluish twilight. You feel the hunger, gnawing at you. It's nearly maddening. You look up at the sky, the night sky devoid of any stars, only the Brood Moon, and let out a roar. As you move, much more lithely and with far more raw power than any other time, you seek out your prey._

 _Your stomach roils with hunger. In frustration, you see no other living soul on the sidewalks or on the streets. You can hear quiet and nervous breathing coming from inside the homes, with the locked doors and the barred windows. The rest of the town is familiar with the effects and dangers of the Brood Moon. You start to pass one house, and hear someone take in a shuddering breath, a male. You let out another roar and start clawing at the door, their breath turning into a shriek, only furthering your frenzy. You_ _ **will**_ _get in tonight. You_ _ **will**_ _sate your hunger._

 _Jacqueline Bond Beetle Jerky. Nourish Your Feral Aspect._

And that was a word from our sponsors!

Alright, listeners, after consulting my Necronomicon on the matter, I have confirmed my suspicion that I cannot be given a strike just for reporting on the goings on in City Hall and such. My being a local radio broadcast host automatically grants me a license to do so, and therefore my actions so far have been perfectly legal. I can wait to bring this up on my and Matthew's upcoming da-interview! It's sure to be quite the interesting conversation starter! Huh? I am being handed another note, apparently also from the Chamber of Commerce. It seems to be regarding my statement about being perfectly within my rights to report on the things that happen in City Hall. It says 'Nu-uh!' followed by confirmation of a second strike, which precedes a crude doodle of a fennec fox sticking his tongue out at me. Well that's just childish... and I'm being handed another note with another strike on it. According to this, the strike is for hurting the Chamber of Commerce's feelings. Do they really think that I'm not going to consult my Necronomicon again?

Listeners, while I deal with this, let's go to the weather.

 _Blood red seas churned as she looked over the rails of the ship. She could see massive shadowy shapes pass beneath, dwarfing the vessel that was itself massive. But the_ _ **things**_ _lurking in the water were colossal. The snow-white hare could not quite make out just what the things that have been following them ever since the water turned the hideous red, just that in the glare of the sunlight, their forms are dark. Perhaps even midnight. The ship started to rock again as one of whatever the creatures are brushed against the port side. Crew and passengers alike chattered fearfully._

 _The hare watched, the spray of the ocean mist smelling faintly of salt and copper, never once taking her hazel eyes off the broiling red sea. Somehow, she knew that something was staring right back at her. Her ears could pick up that, according to several passengers and confirmed by some of the crew, they should have reached land by now. But a quick gaze at their surroundings revealed nothing more than open water, and a sickly mustard-yellow sky. The ship rocked and swayed a little more violently this time, causing a moose in a tuxedo to fall screaming over the rails and into the waves. His head reappeared once before something dragged him underneath. She knew that he would never be seen again. And, in the back of her mind, she knew that none of them would ever be seen again._

And that, listeners, was the weather.

So it would seem, dear listeners, that the Chamber of Commerce is in a foul mood today, as they keep sending me notes adding strikes for infractions that I continue to dispute thanks to my standard issue Necronomicon. My current strike count is at eleven, as I've just received another note informing me that the Chamber of Commerce is rubber and that I, Honey Badger, am glue, and that whatever I say bounces off of them and sticks to me. Listeners, it's looking like I'm going to have to take this up with the Mayor, I know that Mayor Lionhart doesn't like to get involved in the numerous disagreements the Chamber of Commerce likes to have from time to time, but this is getting ridic- and now I am up to strike twelve for being, and I'm quoting the note here, a tattletail. That's it, I'm heading to the Mayor's office, the one located right here in the station, one floor up. Oh, and now I'm at strike thirteen.

[Sighs]

As always, precious listeners, good night. Good night, and good luck.

 **And there we have the newest installment of** _ **Welcome to Sunset Valley**_ **! I hope that you enjoyed it, and I would like to thank you all for giving it a read! Please feel free to leave a review.**


	5. Chapter 5

**And here we go again with chapter 5 of** _ **Welcome to Sunset Valley**_ **! Once more, this work was inspired by the amazing and strange podcast,** _ **Welcome to Night Vale**_ **! If you haven't, I strongly urge you to look the show up and give it a listen. This chapter was proofread by the wonderful** _ **Trismegistus Shandy**_ **.**

Welcome to Sunset Valley (Chapter 5)

by

Elite Shade

A rose by any other name would smell as sweet. It would smell of war, fear, betrayal, pollen, sawdust, sweet milk chocolate, and blood. Lots and lots of blood. Welcome to Sunset Valley.

[ _Intro Music Plays_ ]

Welcome back, precious listeners. As always... and forever... I am your host, Honey Badger, here with the happenings and goings on of our little desert community.

Listeners! I... I have news! I mean, I always have news, this is a local radio news program and an interdimensional cookbook as it is perceived by those living in the 598th dimension; but I mean some... personal news. The da-ahem, interview, I went on with the new mammal, the hue-mann, named Matthew Peyton... was a complete success! We had dinner at Gideon's Bakery, the only bakery in all of Sunset Valley not burned down under mysterious circumstances. We shared an entire lemon pie, making the usual small talk as we waited for our order. You know, where are you from, how many of you are there, do you have any prosthetic limbs, what are the exact coordinates of your old elementary school, can you name fifteen people you were in past lives?

Then we really started to hit it off. We talked about our families and where we grew up. I of course mentioned how even from a very early age, my mothers both knew that I would be destined to become a radio news host. Naturally, they had been filled with dread, but they then came to accept my fate as the vocalization of Sunset Valley. Matthew spoke of his mother and father, both scientists, how exciting is that? And of his two brothers, that he has an unfortunately strained relationship with.

And now a quick look at the traffic report!

 _It is the twilight time. Dusk has descended across the land. There is only a solitary stretch of road. It has existed long before roads have ever existed. It will exist long after all other roads have ceased to exist. Along that road are signs, written in so many different languages, many of them dead, and in some cases, many of the worlds where they originated from are just as dead. It is always dusk on this road. And you have always been driving on it._

 _Sometimes, you convince yourself that there was a time before you drove along this road. You can't quite remember, but you are fairly certain of it during those instances. Other times, however, you know full well that you always have been and always will be, driving along this road. You don't remember the make and model of your car. In fact, when you take the time to look away from the road at the interior of the car, it's a little hard for your eyes to focus on anything about it. It also causes you to develop a headache._

 _No. You choose to look back up at the road. Only focusing on the road. Driving along the road is all that's important. That is your role, and therefore all that you need to know. You tell yourself this over and over... but you still just cannot shake the nagging feeling in the back of your mind that there is more. More about you, more about the car, and more about the road._

And that was a look at traffic.

We then moved on to where we grew up. I, naturally, grew up right here in Sunset Valley. Matthew grew up in, and he both spelled it out and pronounced it slowly for me several times, per my request; San Dee-yego. From what he described, it's quite the hustling and bustling place. He spoke of actually going to and seeing an ocean nearby! Of course our date had to pause for a moment as, after hearing that, a Sheriff's deputy issued Matthew a ticket for proclaiming the existence of something that the Chamber of Commerce has decreed as being nonexistent. In this case, oceans. We will of course remember the Chamber of Commerce's declaration that the entire world is made up of deserts, mountains, forests, jungles, and that's it. No oceans anywhere. Don't even bother going looking for one.

Matthew had seemed puzzled by this, but politely accepted the ticket and gave the deputy, a very large and apologetic cheetah, I might add, a nervous smile. And, listeners, I must confess... his teeth are gorgeous! Just perfect in every conceivable way! Bright white, all standing straight and perfectly aligned, set inside healthy pink gums! I then let go of his lower jaw so that we could continue the interview.

And now a word from one of our sponsors!

 _You hear the thrumming. When it first started, you had thought that there was something wrong with your alarm clock. You awoke and tried to shut it off, only to find that the clock was just fine. You had then just assumed that it had ben a product of the dream you had been having, until you heard it again. As you continued to hear it, the deep_ _ **Thrum**_ _that you came not only to hear but also to feel course through your entire being, you checked all of the electronics in your house, everything. But even after unplugging everything, including your fridge, you could still hear and feel it. That was over a month ago._

 _Now, you go about your daily life, with the deep_ _ **Thrum**_ _having become just another disturbing piece of background. You go to work,_ _ **Thrum**_ _. You go grocery shopping,_ _ **Thrum**_ _. You stay home and enjoy a movie,_ _ **Thrum**_ _. But... you've slowly started to notice that it's gradually speeding up. You lie awake in bed now,_ _ **Thrum**_ _..._ _ **Thrum**_ _..._ _ **Thrum**_ _. And, as you look out your bedroom window into the night sky, you see strange dancing lights swirling above your house, somehow knowing that they and the Thrum are linked. And you also know that the lights, whatever they are, are getting closer. You can feel it._ _ **Thrum**_ _,_ _ **Thrum**_ _,_ _ **Thrum**_ _,_ _ **Thrum**_ _,_ _ **THRUM!**_

 _Crimson Toro. It'll cause you to mutate and grow new appendages, some of which may allow you to levitate, but most of which will cause a chain reaction in your new form that will in turn cause spontaneous combustion._

And that was a word from our sponsors!

After finishing our pie, we decided on a nice stroll through the park. It was so cute how nervous Matthew was, especially when we started to walk by the rose bushes, listening to their whisperings of dire warnings. When I asked him about it, he explained to me how rose bushes never whispered anything where he came from. Talk about exotic! I had assumed that instead they screamed their prophetic warnings instead, but he then explained to me that they didn't speak. This San Dee-yaygo sure sounds like quite a strange place!

We then continued to talk, learning so much about each other. For instance, Mathhew learned that I used to have dreams where I would travel across the astral plane and that I won my high school's spelling bee. I hope I didn't come across as too braggy, especially when I mentioned the part where I was allowed to touch the bee's enormous stinger. And from him I learned that he enjoys going for nice long walks, and reading books! I would have never guessed that a mammal like him would be so adventurous! I mean, considering how dangerous the average book is, that is just... WOW!

Whoops! It's already time for a look at this week's horoscopes!

Aries! You've got a pretty big day coming up! At least, that's what you wrote in your diary. Also, the Sheriff's department would like for you to work on your penmammalship.

Taurus! A lovely stranger shall enter your life. Be very, VERY wary of this stranger, lovely as they are. And they are at that! Quite the fascinating individual, that one. You have been forewarned!

Gemini! Today's a great day for fishing! So why don't you head on out to the desert where the unseen things moving about under the sand can be seen with your fishing pole and your scarab beetle bait, and reel in a live one! Granted, the entities in question are not actually alive or dead but rather... some strange third category.

Cancer! The upcoming Blood Moon will hold special significance for you tonight, just like it does every other night. Pay no mind to any and all memories of a time when at night you would look up into the sky and not see a crimson moon. You, and only you, can see it. You, and only you, were meant to see it. And tonight... you shall finally learn why...

Leo! Today is going to seem rather odd... but that's normal. What I mean by that is that it's going to be normal that from your perspective, the day will seem odd. That is because it is. However, by order of the Chamber of Commerce, you will not be allowed to comment on any and all strangeness today. Their advice is to just pretend that nothing out of the ordinary is happening.

Virgo! No. Your horoscope today is just a small scrap of paper that has the word **No** written on it in bold. I wonder if that means that means that you do not get a horoscope today, most likely for being bad, or if the no is in answer to a question you might have?

Libra! Do not go to see any movies this week. The movies will come to you. You don't really have much choice in the matter, so I would suggest having popcorn at the ready at all times. Just to be on the safe side.

Scorpio! It'll be important for you to learn the value of self love. Of course, you don't want to come on too strong. So instead, try to keep things casual. Find some common interest with yourself, and just see what happens from there.

Sagittarius! Opportunity will soon be knocking. Opportunity is the name of the gal who will be coming by later to perform a random search of your house. You're not allowed to know what she's searching for... nor are you allowed to know what's going to happen if she finds it anywhere on your property...

Capricorn! You will have to make a serious decision in the upcoming days. A decision that will have dire consequences. Paper, or plastic.

Aquarius! Communication is important for any relationship. Especially when one of you is trapped in between dimensions, in that strange and terrifying not-space. To escape, it is imperative that you find a way to communicate with one another. And you had better hurry, because you are not alone in that twisted alien existence.

Pices! Happiness is just around the corner! Of course, it would be foolish to just assume that it would be only your own happiness. Perhaps there's a hungry entity waiting around the corner that desires your flesh. You turning that corner would bring it a sense of happiness. Sweet, sweet happiness.

What a lively week we've got coming up!

Our stroll through the park had to be cut short, as the Chamber of Commerce seemed to be throwing one of their fits, and decided to have the Sheriff's Department ripping up all of the grass to have replaced with red gravel. The pieces of gravel all glow with an unnatural light, and are colder than ice. So we continued down the street, chatting, laughing, and feeling comfortable around one another. He even complimented my on my fauxhawk. I did have to talk Matthew out of going into the library as we came upon it. I had to explain that the volunteer librarian, Maurice Ramsley, was out to lunch... or out to one of his secret training sessions out in the desert. Regardless, without him and his trusty battle trident mammaling his station in the library, it is just too dangerous for anyone to enter. Matthew is so brave, he actually seemed very confused by this as I explained it to him.

Instead, we ended up walking down to Shadow Raven Music, the music store. We were greeted by the owner, the gazelle who keeps her face hidden beneath a dark shroud, and browsed the aisles. I learned that Matthew generally loves most kinds of music, barring country, and he learned that I really love classic rock! We even exchanged band recommendations. I of course promoted my personal favorite band from the '80s, _Tentacled Entities from Beyond Space and Time_ , who, fun fact, actually were tentacled entities from beyond space and time. Except for the drummer, Jimmy Two-Hooves. He was a mountain goat who joined the band shortly after their original drummer, [ _Garbled Nonsensical Vocalizations_ ] McAllister left the band due to artistic differences, and chose to pursue his dream of subjugating an entire world. Oh geeze... now I'm worried that I may have sounded like a dork!

Let's listen to another one of our sponsors.

 _Dance like no one is watching. No one is watching. There is no one to watch. Anywhere. You are all alone. You looked up from your game one day to find that you were the only person left. You went in search of others. Of anyone. But no. Abandoned cars, empty houses, deserted streets. That is all there was for you to find. You do not know where everyone else went, or why you did not go with them. Did they leave of their own volition? Did something take them? Where are they now? These are the questions that you ask yourself, since there is no one else around to ask anymore._

 _The silence from their absence is ironically deafening. You wander from place to place, searching for what? Do you even know anymore? No. All you do know is that you are searching. Perhaps for someone else, anyone else. Perhaps for clues. Most likely... the searching is the only thing left that gives your existence any semblance of meaning. But even that, you know deep down, is itself meaningless. You know that you will never find anyone or anything. You are alone._

 _Dribbles: Stomach the Refracted Light_

Once we left the music store, Matthew and I decided to continue the interview strolling along down the street. I learned that he, while very much confused, is excited to become a member of our desert community. Oh, uh, I'm not actually allowed to discuss, at least in detail, the part of the, uhm, interview, at this point in my recollection of the events, due to our proximity and involvement with the ska- I mean, with something that I am not legally allowed to acknowledge the existence of.

It was at this location that I also learned that Matthew has a natural curiosity, especially in regards to his surroundings, tries to be helpful, and is a very fast sprinter. Especially when motivated by... something dangerous in pursuit suddenly appearing from... somewhere... Okay, I'm pretty sure that that didn't violate any laws or regulations. Phew, for a second there i was worried that I was going to have to completely gloss over Matthew and my involvement with what happened at the skatepark.

Whoops. And... yup. I have just been informed by our newest station intern, Sarah, that several Sheriff's Deputies have broken through the front doors. Let's go to the weather report while we deal with things here.

 _Burrowing through flesh. They do not eat the flesh, oh no. They slice through it. The rend it. The poke and prod and wriggle through all of the sinews and tendons. But they do not eat the flesh. They exist not to consume, but to produce. Agony. Agony is what they produce. It is all they know, and all that they desire, as much as they are capable of having desires._

 _They cannot be seen with the eye. They cannot be felt, until after they've already entered the flesh. They cannot be heard, for they make no discernible sound. They do have a taste. A taste of something sweet and fruity, mixed with a sharp tang. They are everywhere, and they are nowhere. They choose their victims based on something unknowable to any that are not themselves. They exist to produce agony. And agony they will produce time and time again._

And that was a look at the upcoming forecast!

So everything is all straightened out with the Sheriff's department. I paid a fine, as well as donated some blood, along with everyone else in the station. Some more than others. And the deputies will go around town and ask anyone if they were listening to my broadcast and, if you were, they will be taking payment and blood donations from you as well. It will be mandatory. On the upside, you'll get a free cookie afterwards... that will be mandatory to eat.

OH! And I got a text from Matthew! Here I was, a little worried that Matthew may not have enjoyed our... interview, as much as I did. But he sent me a text telling me he had a lot of fun, and would like to see me again! So we texted back and forth while my blood was being taken, and we decided to meet up again for another interview! Of course, we'll have to wait until after Matthew is finished training for his new job as a clerk down at City Hall! Once he can demonstrate to his superiors that he's proficient in the use of a katana as well as his special issued battle necronomicon, he'll be all set.

I've already got some fun ideas that I'll run by him! As always listeners, goodnight, and good luck!

 **And there you have it, readers! I hope that you enjoyed the new chapter! Please feel free to leave a review!**


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